I just REALLY want to post this in a place that I know he wont see, because I don't think he'd want me to talk about it. (and there is absolutely no way he knows about my xanga. Though, I'll probably make this private/protected within a day or two, just in case).
He calls me today as I;m driving down to the mall, in a SUPER fantastic mood. Like, He sat in on a multi-mic recording session. And then he finds out his car is dead. So He hangs up.
And I dont hear from him for the rest of the day. I;m at choir practice and he calls me. Thinking it's not important, I ignore it. And the second call. He leaves a message and sounds frantic. He calls back.
Apparently, he lost his bag. Somewhere. So he has me call this comic book store/card store to see if it was left there. It has his Mac and his check book in there. So he has a reason to freak out. It isnt there. He has me call back again to see if the person could check down the street. Being in choir practice, I obviously cant keep calling back and forth, so I give him the number to the store, and tell him to call back in a few minutes (because the dude said he would check down the street)
I havent heard from him since, and I;m getting really worried. Just because all I want to do right now is go over to his place and hold him until all the bad goes away. Honestly, I just want to make everything better.
I think I might call him at 830 or 9 just to see how he's doing. I really wish I could do more, though.
In case you missed it on facebook/tumblr: I am so excited!
So last night. I got a message from Kenji, the photographer from my Yuffie photoshoot. Turns out! Picture made the front page of Deviantart! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
I took a screenshot, just because I know some people would have missed it. And I am just so overall happy. It makes me feel so fantastic
After fifteen hours, here are the stats on the picture:
So, we remember my friend, Max, right? And how, he and I met the same time I met Travis and was RP-ing on MySpace? And how, he became too attached to me when I started to date Brandon? And how, after a while of dealing with his whiney shit, I finally told him that he wasn’t even worth my time? And how he got all butt hurt and we didn’t talk for like, two years? But then I felt bad and so after Brandon and I broke up, I found him on face book, and we started talking again? That Max?
WELL NOW THAT WE'RE ALL CAUGHT UP.
So. Fucking. Not too long ago, Max was telling me how he’s changing his diet, and how he’s starting to work out more and trying to better himself. So the other day, after a month or so of working out, he sends me a picture of himself topless, because he’s feeling good about how he’s getting some definition in his muscles and wanted my opinion. So I see it, and I tell him that he’s looking good. And he says he felt embarrassed, etc, and I told him that there was no need for him to. Then I told him that I ran off too do yoga. Which I did for half an hour.
Two days later, this morning, I ask how to know if you like someone, or just the idea of them. And he gives me an answer, I say thank you, and we have a small conversation. And then he starts with how he feels that things are “going south” for “us”. Like, what the fuck? So now, there is drama all over again. He started saying that I kept repeating the same compliment over and over again, which made it seem like I didn't even believe it. And then I dropped the conversation all together. And then I asked him about liking people. And so apparently, he’s all jumbled. Fuck you, Max.
They saw no point in my septum piercing. That it just seemed like some sort of rebellion. Or some form of THIS IS WHO I AM type gesture.
It felt odd knowing that he felt that way. I, obviously got defensive. It's as if he lumped me along with all the other little shits who get peircigns to fit in.
If it was a rebellion, I wouldn't be hiding these from my parents. It's not so much of a "this is who I am" because I thought it looekd cute. And, after getting it done, i felt much joy. Legit. Those endorphins REALLY kick in after. After every piercing, I had SO much excitement.
My septum was done as a "new chapter in my life" type thing. I mean, i suppose there was rebellion behind it. I was finally out of a Catholic school. I knew my parents wouldnt approve. But i knew I wanted it. And I knew it would look fine. After I had gotten it done, it was hidden, and it healed. I dont care that It makes me look like a bull.
My industrial was one that I always wanted. I had a very nerdy reason for wanting it. And so I did it. It was actually, for the most part, well thought out, haha. It's done at an odd angle, but, I feel that it makes it much more unique and special to me. In fact, the second piercer didnt even think they'd be able to do it.
And my belly button. Fuck. I think it looks super cute. It's not much for sex appeal. At all. It's another easily hidden one. But it's cute. And generally, a very fun experience. (the place I got it done at was amazing. But afterwards, i felt it was pretty shady, haha).
I cant wait to get more. It's exciting. But. For the most part, I dont see it as rebellion. I dont see it as a way to be an individual or showing that i;m my own "independent person". It's not a way to fit in. I do it because I want to. Because i think it looks cool. Because I want it to look amazing.
Something Wicked This Way Comes
